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“You…you do know that I love you, right?” He asks shallowly. I turn back to him, part of the hoodie on my housecoat blocking my vision.

“Of course I do, you idiot,” I smile, grabbing his hand. He smiles back to me and squeezes my hand gently. I lean my head on his shoulder, looking at the sun slowly going down under the water, the light reflecting on the water. Nothing was alright, considering the situation, but I felt safe. And that was what counted  to me.

I was safe.

Allan suddenly turns and looks at me, something I never saw in his eyes anymore, and something that seems so familiar at the same time.

I open my mouth to ask what was wrong when he suddenly lays his right hand on my cheek. My face flushes a bright red for just one moment as I look right back into his eyes. He comes closer to my face and kisses me, ever so gently, cautiously, but especially gently.

He kisses me.

I’m not prepared for it at all. My mouth opens automatically, but I don’t even want it to. My shoulders start to tremble lightly, trying to suck in a breath. He doesn’t pull back. Instead, his hand moves down from my cheek to my shoulder, placing it gently on my back and pulling me closer, my head turning slightly because of the movements.

I start to panic at that moment. I don’t know what to do except for just standing there. My eyes avert slightly from his closed ones, and I mumble something inaudible into his mouth. He pulls back a little, “What?”

“D-d…don’t…don’t…” I whisper, feeling how my throat shut itself. “D-don’t…do…that…”

I don’t look back at his face, or even in his direction. I shut my eyes tightly and try to hold my tears back. I can’t keep them back any longer when he tries to place his hand back on my cheek, to which I pull back.

Tears start to form in the corners of my eyes as I bite my lip, trying to stay standing after I nearly trip over my own feet, trying to get away from him.

I’m trying to get away from him. I was running from him. I didn’t want to be around him anymore.
Just that one kiss. And that one kiss that was just too fast.

And I hate the fact that I realize it all at that one moment. The moment where it all goes to fast, where I can’t think clearly anymore.

The moment where panic takes over, and where  I run from it.

“E-Elina, I…” He stutters, a concerned look on his face. I bite my lip once again before taking another step back, glancing at his face with slightly teary eyes. “I…”

I know how he is at a loss for words. I know that feeling, when you aren’t able to say anything. When you can’t find the right words to even speak up. When you think there isn’t anything you can say.
I just hope that he is looking for the words to apologize, and I regret even thinking that the second later. He isn’t doing anything wrong in his eyes – at least, that’s what I think, because Allan wouldn’t do anything before closely considering the consequences.

I’m not sure if he quite saw that coming.

I open my mouth to say something, even though I don’t even know what I wanted to say either , and shut my mouth right after that. I want him to say something, anything, so I don’t have to. So that I don’t have to break the ice. Because when I break the ice, whoever stands on it falls. But he doesn’t either. It is the question if either of us can, both of us not knowing what to say.

“J-just…just leave me a-alone,” I manage to choke out before turning around and walking away from him, trying to keep my tears inside. I take a couple of deep breaths, ignoring the nearly blinding sun almost shining in my vision, as I’m able to turn my head slightly and not look at the sun directly. I know how the others are looking at me from the beach down there. I can see them, even if it means I have to turn my head towards the blinding sun. Some shout out to me, but I don’t reply, and then they talk to each other again, keeping on glancing to me.

Everything changes when he grabs my hand. I instantly turn around and smack him right across the face, leaving a red mark on his face. His eyes flash for a moment with surprise, then let go of my hand when I pull it back. I tremble lightly before turning around and walking away, trying to ignore the one who has protected me up until this moment.

And now he turns into one of my worst fears. Someone who I can’t trust anymore. And I have no idea where the feelings come from. Why I exactly think that, and more specifically, why I have those feelings to him.

It’s commonly known that Allan has a particular liking for me, and that it’s suspected I have the same feelings for him. The only problem is that I’m not quite sure what feelings I have myself, whether or not I like him back the way he likes me.

I’m positive that I don’t like him back. Not now. Not at this moment. I close my eyes for a brief moment and take a few deep breaths, trying to get my breathing back to normal again. I don’t want to find myself hyperventilating in just a few seconds, the only reason being that I could hardly breathe through my shut throat.

I swallow a couple of times and wipe my nose, sniffing slightly. I don’t hear any more footsteps behind me, so I assume that Allan let me be, which I was grateful for. And at the same time, I think I have the right to be left alone.

Because I feel like he’s the cause of this all.

Even if the actual reason would be me.

Though I can’t think of a reason why I would be the cause of this. I can’t think of any single reason that would be one of my mistakes I may have made in my past. The only reason I can think of is that I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the security guards, and that I got myself caught by them.
We aren’t anything closer than we were before. I don’t know anything more about them than I knew three months ago. Unless the others are hiding something. And with all honesty, I’m not surprised if they are hiding something from me.

After all, who wouldn’t?
A random little thingie I have to shove in somewhere in my novel. xD

There isn't much I've got to say here, actually. First time trying to write in present tense, and...well, you most likely won't get any of it. xD Because I didn't explain anything or something, so...yeah... xD

There are dark things approaching... :eyes: xD

Okay, slight seriousness.

I'd like to have some feedback on this. Even if it's just something like, "I liked reading this!" or "This sucks! ):<" Though I think you can imagine I'd like to hear the first one more, lol. Even so, be honest! ^w^ I want your opinions on this little draft-ish thingie. x3
And, if you need any explanation or anything else, just comment/contact me and I'll be happy to send you any info you want about it. If you're interested, that is. xD

A small synopsis of which I'm almost sure it's not going to look anything like what I have in mind (but it's the only best thing I have):

In the year 2048, Mutants have been terrorizing parts of what was known as Europe, slowly spreading through the rest of the continents. In the middle of Europe, there's only one country who can defend itself from these monsters.
Anare is a small country filled with forests, only a few cities and mainly existing of towns. Their pride and only protection against the Mutants are their Warriors. Uniting together in the East, South and West Academies, the teenagers aging from fifteen to twenty-one years of age are trained to battle against Mutants and to defend the small towns and larger cities Anare has.
Paralyzed follows the story of Second Year Elina Alden, seventeen years old and an exceptionally skilled Warrior, battling with her trusty blade and also a member of the EDF, the Eastern Defensive Force, one of the only direct battlers against the Mutants. Being a member of the EDF team isn't an easy job and includes fighting directly in the enemy's base.
The more time Elina spends in the EDF, the more she finds out about what the Mutants really are and who created them. The fact that she is unable to work together with her fellow EDF members is a problem, and ensures many things happening within the team itself.
Having a troubled past, Elina is coping with several phobias at once, one more severe than the other. Will these fears affect Elina's way of fighting, and more importantly, will she be able to save Anare..?


...Shortish summary is shortish, and now I'm gonna go to bed. x3

G'night, and until next time~!
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:iconvera-san:
vera-san Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
Wow o//o
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:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
...meaning..? xD
Reply
:iconvera-san:
vera-san Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
Meaning...YOUR WRITING HAS JUST BEEN IMPROVING SO MUCH!! <3
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
*laughs* Thank you! xD I think it's because of all the NaNoing in November, hehe. x3 My average was finishing the 1667 words within two hours, sometimes within one. Rewriting all the crappy stuff I wrote feels so gooooood. xD
Reply
:iconlittlemissaiko:
LittleMissAiko Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Xela, 't is echt goed :D
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ehehe, dankje. x3 De vraag is of mensen hier ook echt wat van hebben gesnapt, maar de rest komt ook nog. x3
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:iconmamamrl789:
MamaMrL789 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oooh this was very interesting to read~ And like everyone else, I wanna know what happened >w<
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:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I guess that's good. xD Though the idea was more that I'd just randomly post a part and see if you'd like it or not. Job well done, I suppose. xD
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:iconumbrotheumbreon:
UmbrotheUmbreon Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing job sis though I am confused as to what is really going on? It may be that I have questions I want answered, and that can be good for a novel. A short story though, ehhh not so much .w.
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:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This isn't the start of the story, if that's what you're thinking. Though I don't think the complete backstory will be revealed by the time I get to (re)write this.
Also, the reason this is in the catagory 'Short Stories' is that I had no idea where else to put this. .w. xD
Reply
:iconumbrotheumbreon:
UmbrotheUmbreon Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, it might be a great idea to mention it is not the beginning of a story but a part of a story midway through x3
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:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
*tries to find a witty quote to prove the contrary* x'D

"A random little thingie I have to shove in somewhere in my novel. xD" ~Le me

In my eyes it was clear that this isn't the beginning, but 'a random little thingie I have to shove in somewhere in my novel'. x'D
Reply
:iconumbrotheumbreon:
UmbrotheUmbreon Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ohhhh, my bad sis x3
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! x3
Reply
:iconsilverkitty779:
Silverkitty779 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
I'm curious as to know exactly what happened to where it killed her so much inside. I mean, I think I might get it, but....?
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Assuming you're between the ages of eleven and sixteen, I'm positive you'll be able to understand the reason Elina acts like this, and the reasons behind it. x3
Also assuming you understand the basics of phobias, but I think that's pretty obvious. Even so, I'll explain it in the novel. x3
Reply
:iconsilverkitty779:
Silverkitty779 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
I understand phobias, however, I'm 18. I'm not sure I completely get it, that's all. Guess I'll have to wait and see!
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You will. Later on. Possibly. xD
Nah, I'll be explaining everything later on in the book, with flashbacks and all. >w<
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:iconsilverkitty779:
Silverkitty779 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
Ahhh, okay!
Reply
:iconcheisupoochy:
CheisuPoochy Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
It's official, you've earned my title of best writer I've met :3
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pfft, never. x'D I'm not really good or anything, but I have to say that I'm flattered. Like, really. >///w///<
Reply
:iconcheisupoochy:
CheisuPoochy Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
Good, you won National Write Month! I feel honored just talking to you, feel flattered! :3
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There's no reason for you to feel honored talking to me! xD There are people who wrote 200k words in that November, and I was all like: O.o' when I saw their pages. xD

Besides the 50k achievement, I'm just an average teenage girl. No need to think I'm the best writer you ever met or anything. Because I'm sure I'm not. xD
Reply
:iconcheisupoochy:
CheisuPoochy Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
Hey I'm entitled to my opinion X3
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You surely are, and I won't stop you from doing that. x3
Reply
:iconcheisupoochy:
CheisuPoochy Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012
Well you're the best writer that talks with me x3
Reply
:iconxela1234:
xela1234 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Seriously? xD You're such a nice person! ^w^

*is busy writing another random scene atm*
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